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Running head: TECHNIQUES OF SM THAT ARE HELPFUL IN GAINING
ABSTRACT This study utilizes a qualitative design to discover what if any techniques in SM sexual play are helpful to survivors of child sexual abuse. Seven women and one man from across the country were interviewed in-person or through e-mail regarding their thoughts and feelings about SM play’s helpfulness in overcoming problems with sexual intimacy. Their experiences were not differentiated by age, sex, or region of the country in which they reside. The data analysis followed the "constant comparative" approach of Grounded Theory (Strauss & Corbin, 1998). The findings reveal many techniques that were helpful for the respondents in gaining comfort with sexual intimacy. These include playing with control/power, communication, trust, a sense of safety, mutual respect, an emotional bond/intimacy, and being able to get in touch with one’s body. Respondents also gained self-esteem, self-respect, and knowledge of one’s self all of which are vital to achieving comfort with sexual intimacy. It was found that SM play provides a structure within which the participants could experiment with sexual activities and emotional intimacy within specific boundaries which they were party to setting. In this way they felt they were able to overcome certain inhibitions that evolved from their experience of sexual abuse achieving emotional and sexual communication which they had not previously been able to attain. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I would like to express my appreciation and gratitude to those whose support during this research project was invaluable. Sylvia Sussman, Ph.D., my dissertation chairperson, gently and knowledgeably guided me through this challenging, yet rewarding experience of writing a dissertation. She consistently provided in-depth, insightful and constructive feedback. This was done at a rate of speed that amazed me. Jeff LeRoux, Ph.D., one of my committee members, provided much needed moral support and humor along with his knowledge and expertise. John Elia, Ph.D., my other committee member, supported me with knowledge and through feedback on the topic. The eight respondents willingly and openly shared their experiences with me. Their candor helped to shed light on a topic that has had little attention from researchers. It was a wonderful experience to correspond and meet with each individual. They were warm and generous and I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to meet them. I would like to thank my family and my friends for their much-needed support and caring during these past months. I would not have accomplished this without them.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ABSTRACT 2
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT 3
I. INTRODUCTION 8 Statement of the Problem and Background 8 The Research Question 19 Significance of the Study 21 II. REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE 23 History 24 SM Play 30 Theories 30 Research 38 Outsiders Descriptions/Observations 47 Personal Perspectives 52 Healing Sexual Problems of Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse 56
III. METHODS AND PROCEDURES 69 Research Design 69 Participants and Sampling Procedures 70 The Nature of the Participants 70 Sampling 71 Recruitment of Participants 71 Data Collection 73 Interview Procedure 75 Topics of the Interview Guide 76 Analysis 79 Procedure for Data Analysis 82 Validity and Reliability 83 Limitations 84 IV. RESULTS 86 Background 90 Earliest Inclinations to SM Play 91 Personal Characteristics 94 Challenges 98 Experience of Abuse 104 Therapy Experiences 106 Therapy 107 Therapists 110 SM Play 112 Rarely Used Technique of SM Play 113 Negative Aspects of SM Play 115 Positive Aspects of SM Play 121 How SM Play Helped with Problems Stemming from
Playing with Control/Power 135 Communication and SM Play 140 Trust and SM Play 144 A Sense of Safety 148 Mutual Respect in SM Play 148 Emotional Bound/Intimacy 154 Getting in Touch with One’s Body 160 View of SM Play 164 Reactions to the Interview Experience 168 V. DISCUSSION AND IMPLICATIONS OF THE FINDINGS 170 The Study Question 170 Becoming Involved 173 A Safety Net: The Social Structure 174 Dangers 176 Gains 177 Discussion of Findings in Relation to the Literature 178 Limitations of the Study 183 Implications for the Study of SM Play 185 Implications for Therapeutic Interventions for Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse 186 Suggestions for Further Research 188 VI. REFERENCES 191 VII. APPENDICIES Appendix A 197 Appendix B 198 Appendix C 203 Appendix D 204 Appendix E 208 Appendix F 213
Techniques Of SM That Are Helpful In Gaining Comfort With Sexual Intimacy For Survivors Of Child Sexual Abuse Who Practice SM Play.
CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION
This study explores the potential therapeutic effect of sadomasochistic play (SM play) for survivors of child sexual abuse who also practice SM play. This qualitative study uses a phenomenological approach.
Statement of the Problem and Background
During a training session in 1996 for the San Francisco Sex Information hotline, I had the opportunity to listen to a panel discussing sadomasochistic play (SM play; also referred to as SM, S/M, S&M, sadomasochism, or sadism & masochism by authors and respondents throughout this paper). Both members of the panel were survivors of child sexual abuse. Their frank discussion caused me to start thinking about how some techniques of SM play might be helpful in gaining comfort with sexual intimacy for survivors of child sexual abuse, who practice SM play. The current research project intends to lay the groundwork needed to understand this phenomenon. SM is an abbreviation for sadomasochism, which is a consensual sexual act involving the dynamics of control, role-play, and power differentials, and for some it can also include bondage and/or pain (see Appendix F for a complete glossary of SM play related terms from Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns: The romance and sexual sorcery of sadomasochism, 1995). Child sexual abuse will be defined as any kind of exploitive sexual contact with a child (under 18 years of age) by an adult (relative or stranger) or older child (relative or stranger), which serves to control and dominate the child (Maltz, 1991, Courtois, 1988, 1993). Sexual intimacy will be defined as sexual intercourse and/or sexual touching of one’s partner’s body, cuddling, hugging, and speaking tenderly to one’s partner (Maltz, 1991). In researching this phenomenon, I communicated with Peggy Kleinplatz, Ph.D., a Canadian clinical psychologist, who has clients who use SM play to help them work through their sexual problems caused by child sexual abuse. She has found that SM play is helpful to these clients. According to Kleinplatz, there is no research on this phenomenon. Neither did Dr. Charles Moser, who has researched SM play (1987/1995) and is well known for his knowledge about SM play, know of any studies on this phenomenon (personal communication). Staci Haines, who has written on this subject (1999) told me of a book currently in progress. I have contacted Bree Coven, the author, and I am awaiting a response. Though there is a negative valance associated with SM play, this can be put down to a great deal of misunderstanding and lack of knowledge. The small body of descriptive research (Haines, 1999; Brame, Brame, & Jacobs, 1993; Scott, 1980/1998) suggests the emphasis put on control of sexual interaction, communication, respect, and trust may actually have a helpful, even therapeutic impact on its practitioners, particularly with those who have been sexually abused as children. In the historical literature on SM play, amidst the negative associations, particularly the emphasis on sadomasochistic play as a perversion (Krafft-Ebing, 1886 and Freud, 1938) there are some observers who perceived the possible positive aspects of it (Ellis, 1926; Gebhard 1969; Noyes, 1997; Thompson, 1994). SM play has been recognized as a socially generated life style and symbolic expression of social frustrations (Gebhard, 1969; Noyes, 1997). Noyes sees SM play as symbolic acts in the form of staged aggression, a kind of consensual play or acting, as distinguished from actual aggression in the form of violent, nonconsensual behavior. Thus he gives sociological and political analysis of the phenomenon of SM play as a compensation for social violence. Thompson’s (1994) discussion of the Spanner trial of 1991, which set a precedence for making acts of SM play illegal in England, emphasizing the consensual nature and pleasure goal of SM play. Thompson questions the knowledge sources of those theories (Krafft-Ebing, 1886; Bloch, 1933; and Freud, 1938) which have laid the foundation of our understanding of SM play, suggesting that Ellis’ (1926) view was more relevant to the reality as is Reik’s (1941). Ellis (1926) felt that sadomasochistic play was based on love and not cruelty. Reik (1941) suggested that masochists seek pleasure, not pain. Indeed Thompson reports that psychoanalysts such as Kernberg (1983) have questioned the possibility of drawing a boundary between "normal" and "pathological" forms of SM play behavior because of its commonality (Thompson reports his source as the Association for Psychoanalytic Medicine symposium, 1983). Because of the negative associations of SM play it has been difficult to find participants willing to admit their practices, let alone be studied. It turns out that most theories of SM play have been based on case studies of persons who sought out therapy, thus creating an association with pathology (Moser, 1996). A modern sociological approach (Weinberg, 1978) is to see sadomasochistic play as a subculture in which fantasy frames the organization of deliberately enacted scenes with specific roles identified. Viewed through this lens, and in light of social symbolic function, the suggestion that this role playing may be therapeutic to people who have been sexually abused as children, and who practice SM play, wherein having no control was of the essence, is not far fetched. Do survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play use role-play for this purpose? Further emphasizing the importance of looking at non-pathological functions of SM play, it has been found (Gosselin & Wilson, 1980) that self-defined SM play practitioners do not differ markedly from normal controls. Other researchers (Moser & Levitt, 1987 and Breslow, Evans, & Langley, 1985) have also found SM play practitioners to be non-pathological. There are some studies of the type and nature of SM play practices (Weinberg, 1994/1995; Kamel & Weinberg, 1995), these reveal the importance of control in SM play, as well as mutual concern among its practitioners. Kamel and Weinberg (1995) view SM play as a social interaction. Looking at it this way, they point out that it is important to learn about the techniques and attitudes associated with SM play. Weinberg (1994/1995) points out that to understand such social behavior, as SM play, one must ask the participants directly about their behavior. He writes: "Symbolic interactionist and phenomenological approaches tell us that if we wish to understand S&M motivations and behavior, we must look to the definitions provided by these people rather than attempt to impose our own preconceived notions upon this activity" (p.290). The above researchers point to the need for further research into the social qualities of SM play. The small amount of research focusing on this phenomenon has not yet looked at it in conjunction with child sexual abuse. This area is virtually ignored, except for the psychoanalysts who view it only as potential negative outcome for survivors of past child abuse (not necessarily sexual abuse). Casting a pathological light on SM play in general (Grossman, 1991). Thus, casting a pathological light on SM play in general. The literature on clinical work with survivors of child sexual abuse (Maltz, 1991; Courtois, 1988 & 1993) suggests techniques paralleling those described by observers and practitioners of SM play (Brame, Brame, & Jacobs, 1993;Scott, 1980, 1998; Miller & Devon, 1995). These techniques include, but are not limited to, communication, trust, control, and respect. The connection between these two phenomena has not been systematically examined. Do survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play utilize these techniques to gain comfort with sexual intimacy? The present research aims to provide information in an area that is currently devoid of any scientific studies. In doing so it will pull together two phenomena, SM play and clinical work with child sexual abuse survivors (focusing on those who practice SM play), which have commonalities not yet explored. This information could be useful for clinicians who work with survivors of child sexual abuse who also practice SM play. It could help them be more accepting of their clients’ sexual preference. It may also provide therapists with a better and more useful therapeutic frame while working with sexual abuse survivors. There are a limited number of contemporary scientific studies done on SM play (these will be fully discussed in the literature review, Chapter II). Much of the available information is in the form of theories. With a broader perspective on what we might learn from SM play, Weinberg and Kamel (1995) suggest examining, among other aspects of social interaction, how secrecy in respect to SM play may pertain to society at large, especially in other social groups. SM play may involve extreme examples of qualities we could find in the larger society. Thus they suggest it could be a way to study relationships and social meanings that exist in the larger society: "Looking at S&M scenes may, for example, give us some insight into how fantasies are produced and shared, the nature of the relationship between fantasy and sexuality, and the connection between play and sexual behavior" (1995, p.22). They also suggested that studying SM play would add to our knowledge of the functioning of small groups, since most SM play is performed in groups of two or three. Practitioners of SM play may comprise a larger segment of society than we are aware. This is another reason Weinberg & Kamel (1995) have given for studying this phenomenon. Historically, SM play has been sparsely studied. Initially it was theorized by psychoanalysts (Krafft-Ebing, 1886 and Freud, 1938) to be a perversion. This is still the popular belief among psychoanalysts (Blos, Jr., 1990; Grossman, 1991; Lawner, 1979; Naylor, 1986; Kernberg, 1989; and Rothstein, 1989). It wasn’t until a sociological perspective (Weinberg, 1978/1995, 1994/1995; Gebhard, 1969/1995) was applied to the study of SM play that it was no longer viewed as a perversion, but rather as a social interaction. Current psychological research and observation (Moser & Levitt, 1987/1995 and Breslow, Evans, & Langley, 1985/1995; Williams, Weinberg, and Moser, 1984/1996, 1999; Brame, Brame, & Jacobs, 1993; Scott, 1980, 1997, 1998) have focused on the specific aspects of SM play, and its practitioners. Today SM play is most widely written about from the perspective of those involved in the SM community. The SM community is comprised of those who practice SM play, some of which may be members of an SM informational organization such as the Society of Janus. The dynamics of SM play is written about by many authors today including: P. Miller & M. Devon (1995), C. Moser (1996/1999), G. Scott (1980, 1997/1998), T. Weinberg (1995), B. Thompson (1994), and P. Califia (1979) to name just a few. They describe what SM play is today in their myriad writings. The most important component of SM play is the creed that everyone must follow, which is that the play must be SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL (see glossary, Appendix F) meaning:
Miller and Devon are practicing members of the SM community who are co-authors of a book about the dynamics of SM play called Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The romance and sexual sorcery of sadomasochism. Some of the major elements common to most forms of SM play are the scene, trust, communication, limits, safe words, power and control, contracts, and agreements. The scene is the performing of an erotic SM play activity; this usually involves some form of fantasy and role-play. The term "scene" is also used to describe the larger SM community. Trust is one of the most important facets of any relationship. This is even truer in SM play, in which the scene may involve physical pain or bondage (tying up your partner). Communication is vital in SM play because of the potential danger and because the masochist (submissive) needs to be able to discuss clearly his or her needs and be able to inform the sadist (dominant) if the activity is too much and if he or she wants to stop. Limits are connected with communication; they are discussed before a scene starts. The submissive tells the dominant what he or she absolutely does not want to do or have done to them, in this way they are "in control." The dominant also has limits that they need to share with the submissive. "Safewords" are used as a safety net, if the scene or an aspect of SM play is no longer enjoyable, or even too painful (physically or psychologically) then the submissive says the agreed upon safeword and all activity is immediately stopped, or slowed down, or modified. Power is the element that is played with in a scene; the submissive relinquishes power to the dominant. However, the submissive has the control in that he or she can stop the scene at any time by using the safeword. They also have the power and control in that they willingly let the dominant be in control, the dominant would not have the power if it were not given to them. In the community the question is often asked, who is really in control, the dominant or the submissive? Contracts and agreements are the outcome of discussion about the scene. Every foreseeable detail is discussed in advance including what will happen, how, where, when and especially likes and dislikes and limits. When all of the details are discussed and agreed upon then a contract/agreement is created either on paper or more informally in spoken words. Could some of these aspects of SM play be helpful to survivors of child sexual abuse, who also practice SM play, to become comfortable with sexual intimacy? Sexuality educator Staci Haines (1999) devotes one chapter in, The Survivors Guide to Sex: How to have an empowered sex life after child sexual abuse to this subject:
It is proposed that SM play can be a way for practitioners to reenact past child sexual abuse in a controlled environment and thus finally to have control in a similar situation. Do they reenact past abuse in this way and for this purpose? Haines states:
She goes on to say:
Haines discusses some intriguing ideas. Her work suggests the importance of studying SM play’s potential to help survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play. This is an area that is underdeveloped in current and past research.
The Research Question
The literature has shown a lack of information about the effect of techniques of SM play on survivors of child sexual abuse. This study addresses the question: What, if any, techniques of SM play have been helpful to survivors of child sexual abuse (in the SM community) in gaining comfort with sexual intimacy? This study is phenomenological in that it focuses on narrated subjective experience. Data will be collected through open-ended interviews with practitioners of SM play who are survivors of child sexual abuse. These interviews will be used to discover themes and patterns in the data. A qualitative method, following the Grounded Theory approach (Strauss & Corbin, 1998), will be used to achieve this goal. This study will not attempt to test any existing theory, because currently there are no theories on this topic in the literature. The respondents will be self-described practitioners of SM play who are also self-described survivors of child sexual abuse. SM play will be defined, for the purpose of this study, as a consensual sexual act involving at least two people which includes, but is not limited to, aspects of power play (control), role-playing, participating in a "scene," negotiation, communication, trust and respect. SM play is a consensual sexual act involving the dynamics of control, role-play, and power differentials, and for some it can also include bondage and/or pain. These definitions refer directly to the situation of SM play in relation to the self-defined SM community, and do not refer to "sadism" or "masochism" as defined by the DSM IV which refers to and attempts to define individual character traits which are perceived as pathological. A sadist, then in the context of this study, is someone who enjoys giving sexual partners pain and/or binding them in bondage, which gives the partner pleasure. This partner is a masochist, or one who derives pleasure from pain and /or bondage in a sexual context. Thus "sadism" is the enjoyment giving of pain and/or placing someone in bondage to produce pleasure in SM play and "masochism" is the enjoyment of receiving pain and/or being placed in bondage in SM play. This play takes place in the context of role-play, where the participants each act out a role such as master and servant. Child sexual abuse will be defined, for the purpose of this study, as any kind of exploitive sexual contact with a child (under 18 years of age) by an adult (relative or stranger) or older child (relative or stranger), which serves to control and dominate the child. This act does not involve consent because children are not able to give consent due to their age and dependence upon adults. This definition is based on information in Maltz (1991) and Courtois (1988, 1993). Sexual intimacy will be defined, for the purpose of this study, as sexual intercourse and/or sexual touching of one’s partner’s body, cuddling, hugging, and speaking tenderly to one’s partner (Maltz, 1991). This intimacy has the ability to create physical and psychological closeness with one’s partner. If a survivor of child sexual abuse is uncomfortable with sexual intimacy, it may cause them to be unable to attain that closeness.
Significance of the Study
Child sexual abuse continues and will continue to affect many children. There are different theories about which therapeutic modalities are beneficial for survivors of child sexual abuse. There are many books written for survivors to help themselves work through the problems that stem from the past abuse. This vast literature does not include, with the exception of Haines (1999), any information on techniques of SM play that may be helpful to survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play. This information could help survivors of child sexual abuse in the SM community and possibly even those who are not practitioners of SM play. It is hoped that if SM play has a role in helping those who use it, then this research could open the door for therapists to be more accepting and supportive of their clients who use SM play to become more comfortable with sexual intimacy of any kind. The findings of this research could give therapists another option in helping their clients who are survivors of child sexual abuse find ways to become more comfortable with sexual intimacy. An in depth analysis of the phenomenon will show what may occur in a population of people in the same circumstances, and this helps our understanding of the general population of survivors of sexual trauma, of all forms. Some of the techniques may also be helpful for survivors of all forms of sexual trauma. This research could propel those interested in studying SM play to further research this area. A survey could explore how many people in the SM community are survivors of child sexual abuse and compare that to the population in general. If it is a high percentage compared to the general population, then research could focus on why that is. This research project could be the starting point to understanding an under-explored area.
CHAPTER II: REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE
SM play has not been written about extensively. There are a growing number of non-fiction books and studies on this topic; however, the information they provide is limited. They focus predominately on what SM play is, what is involved in SM play, and to a lesser degree the attributes of those who practice SM play and why they practice it. These works cover the basic what, how, who and why of SM play. For the purposes of this study, these readings provided a basis of knowledge about the dynamics of SM play throughout history and up to the present. This is important and valuable information; however, what is lacking is information about the effect of SM play techniques in helping or harming survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play. Though there are clinicians who are interested in this topic, a review of the literature produced one book and no formal research. Because of this limitation, the literature review will focus on two separate areas: SM play and the healing of sexual problems caused by child sexual abuse, the emphasis being on SM play and its potential for functioning as a healing technique for survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play. This review will begin with a brief history of the theories and research concerning SM play. Then, SM play will be subdivided into: theories, research, outsiders descriptions/observations, and personal perspectives; the next topic area will be healing sexual problems of adult survivors of child sexual abuse, followed by techniques of SM play and their relevance to sexual issues of survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play.
History
Throughout history, SM play, as an erotic, consensual and recreational behavior, has been viewed in different ways, depending on the time and the ideology (of the observer). To understand fully what the term SM play means today, it is important to review its history. The best way to do this is to look at the history of references to it in chronological order. The following summary will help to establish the nature of the present research concern. According to Moser (1996) "SM behaviors are seen throughout history, dating back at least to ancient Egypt and the Hindu culture in India…"(p.34). There is evidence of the masochistic side of SM play in the 1500s, in Europe, of its spreading during the 1600s, and being widespread by the 1700s, (Roy Baumeister in Noyes, 1997). Noyes (1997) quotes Gerd Falk and Thomas S. Weinberg (1983):
SM play is not new, but serious research on this topic only began in the 1800s. In 1886 the psychoanalyst Richard von Krafft-Ebing published Psychopathia Sexualis: A Medico-Forensic Study, in which he discussed sadism and masochism in terms of control, dominance and submission. Krafft-Ebing was the first to use the terms "sadism" and "masochism" in a consistent scientific way (Weinberg & Kamel, 1995). He derived the term "sadism" from Donatien-Alphonse-Francois de Sade, more commonly known as the Marquis de Sade, born in 1740. The term "masochism" was derived by Krafft-Ebing from Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, born in 1836. These names were chosen because of themes in their novels. De Sade’s novels (Justine and Juliette, for example) extolled the profitability of vice and the lack of rewards for virtue (Allegier & Allegier, 1991). In Justine, or Good Conduct Well Chastised, de Sade wrote about two sisters, Justine and Juliette. Justine was virtuous and Juliette was the opposite. Justine suffers through many terrible situations and Juliette does not, de Sade was representing his theme of un-rewarded virtue and profitable vice with this novel (de Sade, 1791/1965). Sacher-Masoch wrote about erotic pain, humiliation and submission in novels such as his most well known, Venus in Furs (Weinberg & Kamel, 1995). This novel is about a man, Severin, who is in love with the goddess Venus to such an extent that he cannot love a real life woman. He then meets Wanda, who looks very similar to Venus, and falls in love with her. She tells him that she cannot love him forever, it is not in her nature and he decides that he would be her slave so that he could be with her forever. In telling her this he also shares with her his desire to have her whip him (von Sacher-Masoch, 1870/1989). There is some controversy about Krafft-Ebing’s choice of labels for these terms (Moser & Madeson, 1996). Krafft-Ebing, in Psychopathia Sexualis (1886, 1965), defined sadism as follows:
His definition of masochism in Psychopathia Sexualis (1886, 1965) is:
Psychoanalysts, such as Krafft-Ebing and Freud, saw sadism and masochism as social aberrations. Freud considered them to be the most significant of all perversions. This view might stem from clinical work, as their observations were made of people who were unhappy or troubled with their sadistic and masochistic desires. Krafft-Ebing and Freud were the two most famous and outspoken authorities on sadism and masochism in their day. Because of this, other psychoanalysts such as, Naylor (1986), Grossman (1991), Blos, Jr. (1990), Lawner (1979), Kernberg (1989), and Rothstein (1989), have followed in their footsteps and, to this day, consider sadism and masochism in much the same terms. They were not viewed as acts done in love. Sadism was seen as a cruelty. Sadism was thought, by Freud and Krafft-Ebing, to be an aberration stemming from the normal drive in men to dominate. This drive became out of control in men who practiced sadism. Masochism was difficult for them to understand, because they felt that there are no masochistic tendencies in ‘normal’ men. Freud felt that masochism was possibly only explained by the thought that it was merely a ‘transformation from sadism’ (Freud, 1938/1995, p.34). Freud diverted from Krafft-Ebing in thinking that sadism and masochism were two forms of the same thing, rather than separate entities. This seems to hold true today according to practitioners of sadomasochistic play. Who at times will switch roles between being the sadist and being the masochist, though usually preferring one role over the other. In 1895, psychologist Albert von Schrenk-Notzing had already coined the term "algolagnia" to refer to the phenomenon which Freud later, in 1938, termed "sadomasochism" thus putting the two terms (sadism and masochism) together for the first time (Moser & Madeson, 1996). "Algolagnia" was used initially by psychoanalysis; "active algolagnia" was the term for sadism and "passive algolagnia" was the term for masochism. Anthropologist, Iwan Bloch (1933/1994), in Anthropological Studies in the Strange Sexual Practices of All Races in All Ages, defined "algolagnia" differently as ‘painful lasciviousness.’ According to Thompson (1994), Bloch disagreed with the psychoanalytic theories of sadomasochistic play. He thought that the true sadomasochist sought out pleasure, not pain. Bloch also discovered, for the first time, that people who are masochists outnumber those who are sadists. Thompson (1994) further states that due to similarities in their theories, Bloch’s studies are closely linked in some of the literature to Havelock Ellis. Havelock Ellis, was the next key person to study sadomasochistic play. In Studies in the Psychology of Sex (1942/1995), he agreed with Freud that sadism and masochism were complimentary emotional states. Ellis was the first psychoanalyst to understand that the pain in SM play was born out of love, not cruelty. He was also the first to realize that "true sadists," those who practice SM play, limit their pain giving only to sexual situations. Thus contradicting the psychoanalytic theory that SM play is a part of a person’s personality, an inherent love of inflicting cruelty on others. According to Ellis, SM play is limited, in mentally healthy individuals, to a pursuit of pleasure in pain by sexual partners during sexual encounters. One of Ellis’ most important contributions was to omit the word "perversion" when writing about SM play. In many arenas SM play is still seen as a sexual perversion, due to Krafft-Ebing’s theories developed over a century ago. In fact, SM play was not even considered a ‘perversion’ until Krafft-Ebing wrote about it. Psychoanalysis has not changed its perspective of SM play since Krafft-Ebing’s time. Psychoanalysts today, such as Blos (1991), are still calling it a perversion. In 1969, anthropologist Paul Gebhard published an article on fetishism and SM play. This contribution was important for being the first time SM play was seen as a social/cultural phenomenon. Gebhard wrote about it, not from the point of view of individuals, but as an activity that involves at the minimum two people. He took into account a cultural context to explain how SM play came to be in certain parts of the world, but not in others. "It may be that a society must be extremely complex and heavily reliant upon symbolism before the inescapable repressions and frustrations of life in such a society can be expressed symbolically in sadomasochism" (1995, p.45). SM Play
Theories
Richard von Krafft-Ebing (1886) initiated the approach to viewing this sexual preference as a perversion. He felt that sadism could be traced to normal teasing interactions between men and women, where in women acted coy and shy and men acted aggressive, especially during the first few months of marriage, "Sadism is thus nothing else than an excessive and monstrous pathological intensification of phenomena – possible, too, in normal conditions in rudimental forms – which accompany the psychical sexual life, particularly in males" (1995, p.28). "Distorted dispositions" were blamed for sadist desires (1995, p.26), "Sadism must, therefore, like Masochism and the antipathic sexual instinct, be counted among the primitive anomalies of the sexual life. It is a disturbance (a deviation) in the evolution of psychosexual process sprouting form the soil of psychical degeneration" (1995, p.26). Krafft-Ebing viewed sadism as a cruel act inflicted on another and producing lust in the perpetrator. His version of sadism is what we now associate with vicious sexual crimes, not the consensual form of SM play that this paper is concerned with. The association of lust and cruelty was at the heart of Krafft-Ebing’s understanding of sadism. His shortcoming was not to look more closely for forms of sadism and masochism that were not harmful to one or both participants, such as the possibility of consensual sadism and masochism. Only the opposite ends of the spectrum were studied. He was aware of minor SM play activities, such as love bites and scratches done in passion which are not even considered as SM play by those who do them. At the other end of the spectrum are the violent behaviors of sexual predators not involving consent on the victims’ part. Masochism was also viewed in a negative light by Krafft-Ebing. He had difficulty trying to understand why men would have masochistic desires, feeling that sadism followed naturally from men’s "natural aggressive tendencies," but that men shouldn’t, or don’t have "natural passive tendencies." Because of this confounding variable he decided that masochism was associated with psychological impotence, as the following quote illustrates:
These statements show how perplexed Krafft-Ebing was about masochism. He states that it is a perversion that makes men psychologically or physically impotent, but yet occurs in people who have no sexual dysfunction or abnormal sexual interests. He then states that all sexual perversions are alike, and caused by heredity, a statement he supplied no proof to support. Krafft-Ebing was too ready to call something that he did not understand a perversion, without taking the time to research the phenomenon. Most unfortunate is that Krafft-Ebing’s work is still viewed as a correct assessment of sadism and masochism today, especially by psychoanalysts. Freud, like Krafft-Ebing, was influenced by Victorian social mores regarding sex, which no doubt shaped his theories. Freud (1938) stated: "sadism would then correspond to an aggressive component of the sexual instinct which has become independent and exaggerated and has been brought to the foreground by displacement" (1995, p.33). Of masochism he states:
Though Freud considered sadism and masochism to be perversions, some of his ideas and findings were actually closer to what we now understand about SM play.
In the psychoanalytic area theories about SM play have not changed much from Freud’s time. Today we know that people prefer one, sadism or masochism, over the other, but they will switch roles in certain cases, and are called "switches." Often people start out as masochists and eventually become sadists as they become more experienced (Miller & Devon, 1995). Havelock Ellis (1926/1995) in discussing SM play is an exception as a psychoanalyst; viewing SM play differently from those before and after him, introducing the notion that mutual identification and shared pleasure were important aspects of this phenomenon rather than the desire to inflict or receive pain:
Ellis goes on to say: "it is scarcely correct to use the word ‘cruelty’ in connection with the phenomena we have been considering" (1995, p.39). He was the first to realize that SM play was something done between consenting people. It involved pain, not cruelty. The pleasure in the pain was the driving force. States of sexual arousal cause pain thresholds to be raised, which is crucial to the creation of pleasure out of pain. Gebhard’s (1969/1995) theory was based on his training as an anthropologist. He saw SM play as socially created and symbolic:
He goes on to include this into his theory of why SM play is only found in developed societies:
Also emphasizing the social sources and symbolic nature of SM play is a theory of masochism put forth by scholar John Noyes (1997). He asserts that masochism came about in the nineteenth century because of the obsession with control that characterized that era. He saw masochism as a ‘continuation of social violence’ (p.14) which may in-part act to defuse violence:
He was aware that the violence in masochism is understood to be play only, not real. Noyes’ view on masochism adds an interesting perspective, both sociological and political. He asserted that masochism was created in reaction to being in a society that was over controlled by the authorities (political and religious) of the nineteenth century and subjected to violence. In asserting that it is a compensation for social violence, he adds a new dimension to the study of SM play. Bill Thompson (1994), a criminologist, discusses SM play in summarizing the 1990 and 1991 Spanner trial. This was the trial of fifteen men in England arrested for being a ‘perverted sex-ring’ and charged with assault and found guilty. These men were practicing consensual sadomasochistic acts. Thompson stresses that consensual SM play is not done to cause harm or injury to anyone involved, rather "such acts are experienced mentally and physically as a form of pleasurable arousal-enhancement" (p.4). This case, and the failed appeal two years later, set a precedence that made any act of SM play illegal in England. Thompson goes on to describe SM play and discuss Krafft-Ebing, whose theory he disagreed with, in part, because it was based on the assumption that sadomasochist activity was a perversion and "a Victorian stereotype about male and female sexual responses" (p.20). He also discusses Ellis’ theory, which he felt was closer to what we consider SM play to be today. Iwan Bloch was discussed because "without him, most popular accounts and explanations of Edwardian sexuality … would not exist, because Bloch endeavored to include everything he could cram under the label algolagnia…" (p.35). Thompson felt that Freud’s comments on sadism and masochism were based on "his own preoccupations rather that anything said by his clients on the couch or by an SM devotee" (p.41). He points out that Theodore Reik (1941), suggested that masochists were seeking pleasure, not pain as originally asserted by past theorists. Thompson (1994) states that contemporary theorists of the 1950s and 1960s were focusing on the pre-Oedipal and Oedipal stage of development as a cause of SM play. In the 1970s the "demonic mother, whereby sadists suffer first from a pre-Oedipal fear of merging and fusing with their mothers and then form their subsequent guilt" (p.51) was added to this focus. In 1983, the Association for Psychoanalytic Medicine had a symposium "on the nature and cure for masochist and narcissistic characters" (Thompson, 1994, p.52). They were unable to agree on what they were talking about, according to Thompson. He describes Otto Kernberg, present at this symposium, as "simply bemused by it all: as masochistic behavior was fairly common, it was impossible to draw a clear boundary between ‘normal’ and pathological forms, let alone distinguish between the developmental features" (p.53). Thompson goes on to say: "The American Psychoanalytic Association Journal’s special issue on SM play which followed the symposium could not offer a solution either. There are now so many papers, discussions, theories and propositions that it would take years to follow them all through" (p.53). Thompson then discusses the sociological perspective, highlighted by Paul Gebhard’s (1969/1995) theory of SM play, discussed earlier.
Research
According to Moser (1996, 1999):
Moser goes on to highlight a further problem with research into SM play:
These factors have made finding research studies on SM play difficult, consequently, the paucity of material to be reviewed here. No studies were found exploring an association between SM play and survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play. Thomas S. Weinberg (1978/1995) studied SM play from a sociological point of view using frame analysis, which views "human interaction as being bounded or ‘framed’ by social definitions that give the behavior a specific contextual meaning" (1995, p.115). In the case of SM play, Weinberg saw it as a subculture; therefore the behaviors involved with SM play are viewed in a subcultural context. Social organization is needed for people to participate in SM play. Weinberg’s other finding was that the social organization of SM play is ‘framed’ in terms of fantasy. The scenes are created by the participants and viewed by them as purely make-believe. He noted that this is shown by the roles available to the participants, their relations to each other, the kinds of scenes they participate in, and the ‘argot’ of the group. This study is valuable because it examined SM play from a different perspective. In doing so, it lead the way for other studies of people who participate in SM play activities. "To understand ‘what is going on’ within an S&M episode, one must know something about the culture of the group and how it defines and categorizes people and behavior" (1995, p.134) Gosselin and Wilson (1980/1994), tested Freud’s theories about fetishism and SM play by comparing them with data they collected from an SM play correspondence club and by interviewing several women, some of whom advertised in SM play contact magazines. Their sample consisted of 133 males and 25 dominant women. They were given the Eysenck Personality Questionnaire and the Wilson Sex Fantasy Questionnaire and they supplied background data. The SM play group did not differ from a control group of "normal people," except for one category: fantasy and reality satisfaction. The other categories were: upbringing (the SM play group had a marginally stricter upbringing), rate of weekly orgasm, self-related libido (masturbation), and partner satisfaction. The control group had a slightly lower rating in this latter category; it also had a higher percentage of steady partners than the SM play group. The SM fantasies recorded were extremely varied, the most common being exposure and risk fantasies, the least common being pain fantasies. The fantasies were not different from those of ‘normal’ people; this finding went against Freud’s theories that sadism and masochism were perversions, uncommon to normal people. The SM play group was found to be more exploratory, to have a greater tendency to practice mate-swapping, more promiscuous, have more sex with strangers, and a higher rate of using objects for sexual stimulation. They also, however, had a high amount of fantasies involving ‘normal’ intimacy, such as kissing. In looking at orientation, Gosselin and Wilson found that the SM play respondents were predominantly masochistic, by a margin of three to one. There was no difference found in fantasy themes for the sadists and the masochists, or in their libido and sexual satisfaction. Thompson (1994), reviewing this research, stated that:
This study was valuable because it showed that the theories and beliefs of SM play as a perversion were not based on solid information. This study found those who practice SM play to be mentally healthy, normal individuals, who are happy with their sexual preferences and lifestyle. This study, in part, lays the groundwork for my study. I want to go beyond showing that it is not a perversion, to exploring how it may be helpful to those who practice it. Breslow, Evans, and Langley (1985/1995) studied women in the sadomasochistic community. Before their study there was some uncertainty as to whether women were largely involved in the SM community and what they did if they were. Prostitutes were the only women commonly known to practice SM play activities. The questions asked of the women were similar to those in Moser and Levitt’s 1987 study, where the data on the women in the sample was not reported due to the small sample size. They found that there are non-prostitute women in the SM community. There are fewer women than men in the community, but the men and women were similar in many regards, including level of education, divorce rate, openness about sexual interest, how they find partners, level of self-esteem regarding their involvement in SM play, and level of interest in a large number of sexual acts. These results show that women are involved in the SM community, this is important to the present study because child sexual abuse is perpetrated on females and males. Incest is perpetrated on females more often than males (Courtois, 1988). For this reason it is important to be able to interview women who practice SM play. Moser and Levitt (1987/1995) studied SM play practitioners using an exploratory-descriptive method. They gave 178 men and 47 women a questionnaire designed for the study. They asked about sexual orientation, most of the respondents were heterosexual. On the dominance-submission continuum there was little difference in the amount of respondents who responded as either dominant or submissive, 44.2% of the respondents scored in the switchable (interested in both dominant and submissive roles) realm of the continuum. The average age for the first SM play experience was found to be 23, and the average age for "coming out" was 26. This meant that the first SM play experience preceded the actual association with an SM play identity. Next they tried to operationalize a definition of SM play by giving the respondents a list of SM play activities and having them note which they have tried, and which they have both tried and enjoyed. The activities were broken down into three categories: specific SM play behaviors, SM play role-playing behaviors, and sexual behaviors not specifically SM play. The responses were varied; there was no one activity that they all enjoyed. It was found that most of the respondents found SM play satisfying. Over all it was found:
This study is relevant to my study because it gives a good indication of who practices SM play. This is important knowledge. To study a phenomenon one must understand those who participate in it. In his study of the sociological and social psychological aspects of SM play, Weinberg (1994/1995) set out to define sadomasochism by asking participants in sadomasochistic play what it is and means. He followed the ideas from his 1978 study, including frame analysis. Weinberg looked at pain, dominance and submission, limits, fantasy, control, and identity. The critical features of SM play, according to Weinberg are: "It is erotic, consensual, and recreational. It is heavily dependent upon fantasy and the illusion of control, and it requires collaboration and mutual definitions in order to be satisfying to the participants" (1995, p.300). This research has added to the scant knowledge of what SM play is, by looking at it from the perspective of those who participate in it. Kamel and Weinberg (1995) looked at diversity in SM play by interviewing five people, two of whom are partners and were interviewed together. One was a woman and the other four were men. They found that SM play is a social interaction; the associated techniques and attitudes are learned. It was found that new comers were taught, and at times introduced to SM play, by those who had experience in SM play. If an SM play scene is going to be successful, all of the participants must be involved in creating it. If there is dissatisfaction in the scene or the relationship, the dissatisfied partner will end the relationship. Because of this there must always be consent and agreement about the scene before it starts. They also found that an SM play relationship is very ‘dynamic’ because of the constant "feedback of ‘energy’ between master and slave" (p.90). The final, and most pertinent, finding is that mutual love and affection are extremely important in an SM play relationship. This finding is important to the current study because love and affection, important for all relationships, are especially so for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Does this mutual love and affection help survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play to gain comfort with sexual intimacy? Weinberg & Magill (1995) studied SM play themes in mainstream culture. This study is relevant in that it shows how SM play themes are becoming popularized in society today. The meanings behind the symbols are usually unknown to the people wearing the clothes or watching the movie or looking at the art exhibit. The presence of these themes in popular culture may allay the shock of suggesting that techniques of SM play could be therapeutic for survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play.
Outsiders Descriptions/Observations
This section contains an overview of work published by observers of the SM community who interviewed participants or attended SM meetings and talked to participants. The information in these books is descriptive. These descriptions lay out a form of role playing in which acts have meaning beyond the immediate situation and are highly controlled. Different Loving, by Brame, Brame, and Jacobs (1993), discusses SM play in terms of the different techniques involved. It briefly covers previous theories about SM play, and discusses specific aspects of this play beginning with a discussion of the details of SM play. The credo of SM play is: safe, sane and consensual. Power is seen to be a key component in SM play, where submissives abdicate their power to the dominant by choice, and the dominant takes the power that is given to them in this exchange. The argot of the SM community is described, "Head trips" are:
"Role-playing" is described as "a mutually agreed upon psychodrama in which the partners assume temporary fantasy roles that express a power dynamic" (p.106). "Age-play" uses the fantasy of being a different age, usually a child, the dominant becoming the adult. "Depersonalization" is another aspect of SM play by:
"Lifestyle D&S", refers to those who keep up their dominant and submissive roles in all aspects of their lives, except for work and other inappropriate contexts. It also refers to those who choose to only practice SM play sex. "Corporal punishment" is physical pain, which gives pleasure. "Bondage" is being bound and possibly gagged, and could also involve being blindfolded and even wearing earplugs. The goal is to achieve a sense of helplessness, which is felt as a freedom to the one who is bound. The purpose is to intensify the pleasure for the participant. "Spanking" is "a form of corporal punishment in which blows are inflicted – almost exclusively – on the buttocks" (p.233). "Whipping" uses many instruments and various degrees of pain. There is a buildup to prepare the person for more intense whipping. "Intense stimulation," includes: hot wax, hot ash, clothespins, clips, and clamps, genital torture, fisting (putting a fist in an orifice), play piercing (a temporary piercing), and electricity. "Gender play" in SM isn’t the same as transgenderism or transvestitism; it is only an aspect of the scene that adds to the fantasy, an element, not practiced outside of a scene and not done while alone. "Erotic combat" is "the drama of championship played out in blunt physical terms" and "gender heroics - as epitomized by erotic female combat – challenge stereotypes of femininity and masculinity" (p.461). The most common expression of gender heroics and erotic combat is wrestling. Gini Graham Scott discusses SM play in her book Erotic Power (1980, revised 1998), which focuses on female dominance and male submission. In preparing the book, she interviewed SM play participants, went to seminars held by groups such as the Society of Janus, and observed interaction at SM clubs. From this she found that "…they [SM play participants] claim that it [SM play] satisfies certain fundamental psychological needs, which may include the experience of power and control for the woman and the experience of giving up power and release for the man" (p.3). In order for the SM play scene to be pleasurable the participants must communicate well, this builds trust. Common to all SM play relationships is trust, closeness, and intimacy. Scott comments on limits, power, and control:
A submissive enjoys pain because it becomes pleasure. When there is no trust an SM play scene cannot work, because the pain or the fantasy could become terror. "Safewords" are used in scenes by the submissive if they want to end the scene. Thus, though the scene may cause the submissive to say ‘stop’ when they don’t really want the dominant to stop, by having access to "safewords" miscommunication is avoided. The scene itself is a "kind of ritual, consisting of rules, techniques, and imagery, and is much like a play in which the submissive is the actor and the dominant the director" (p.174). In the scene the participants "do not engage in bondage, whipping, and other activities for the sake of the action alone. Rather they invest these actions with symbolic meaning and view them as methods for expressing and experiencing power" (p.185). The scene takes place in an atmosphere of safety, consensus, and responsibility, the dominant has to be aware of how the submissive is doing at all times. Scott observes that participants in SM play understand the difference between fantasy and reality. In reality they have a strict code of behavior involving safety, consensuality, and respect for limits. The SM community is a "warm, close, and supportive one, and its members avoid truly dangerous or harmful activities" (p.289). Those who practice SM play are " in higher than average educational, occupational, and income brackets, and tend to be less religious than average Americans" (p.290). According to Scott these characteristics may be contributing to SM plays growing acceptability. Could this acceptability help those survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play to feel more comfortable in sharing their interest in this sexual activity with their therapist? Is the aspect of women having power and control in SM play beneficial for survivors of child sexual abuse, who practice SM play? Does it assist in controlling the amount of sexual contact they are comfortable with? If the survivor chooses the submissive role they are still in control, because they can stop the interaction at any time. Is the scene, as discussed above, beneficial for survivors of child sexual abuse, who practice SM play, as a way to know what to expect while being sexually intimate with someone? Do they use it as a forum to recreate an abuse scenario with a different ending? Are the respect and the supportive environment involved in an SM play relationship beneficial for a survivor of child sexual abuse, who practices SM play, for gaining comfort with sexually intimate situations? Personal Perspectives
The personal perspectives reviewed here are of those practicing SM play activities. These works are important to review because, as was suggested in some of the above literature, the only way to understand this phenomenon fully is to have it explained by someone who is involved in it. The following writings entail one book and one excerpt from a collection edited by Thomas S. Weinberg (1995). Philip Miller and Molly Devon, authors of Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The romance and sexual sorcery of sadomasochism (1995), are partners who practice SM play. The book discusses the dynamics of SM play, most of which were described above, and to a certain extent how to start participating in SM play. For the present purpose, only the relevant topics will be discussed. A scene is an interaction between individuals who perform SM play. It does not necessarily include sexual intercourse; in that case the players "focus on catharsis or the sheer intensity, drama, fear, even transcendence as what they want from their scenes" (p.8). They describe scenes as follows:
When partners do a scene together for the first time, they do not have as much trust built up, so the negotiation of what will occur during the scene is especially important. If the scene goes well then the level of trust rises. The next time, if there is a next time, they do a scene together the submissive will allow a little more latitude. "As the partners learn to trust each other, the submissive may begin to give control over her emotional self as well" (p.5). This element of trust is important in all relationships. Survivors of child sexual abuse need to be able to trust their partners if they are going to feel comfortable and safe with them, especially concerning sexual matters. When two people first perform a scene together, the power play is at its lowest level, and the submissive allows the dominant only a certain amount of control over her physical self. The submissive has not empowered the dominant as much as she might if they had performed more scenes together. The key issue in power play is that the dominant doesn’t take power from the submissive; rather the submissive willingly gives power to the dominant, thus empowering the dominant. "The submissive obeys only because she chooses to. There is nothing compelling her obedience except her resolve" (p.4). The component of power as a dynamic force in SM play brings out an aspect of its possible therapeutic value for survivors of child sexual abuse (who practice SM play) whose power was taken from them during the abuse. Do practitioners of SM play who are survivors of child sexual abuse use power in this way, to regain power lost as a child? In practicing SM play both participants have control and power over themselves, only as much power and control as they are comfortable with is relinquished. The submissive sets the limits and the dominant is bound by respect to follow them. As the relationship grows and the dominant begins to understand and know the submissive, the limits are sometimes pushed, but never so far as to make the submissive truly uncomfortable. Communication within a sexual context is another important element of SM play, which is relevant for the survivor of child sexual abuse. As have others, Miller and Devon stress: "Making SM work is dependent upon developing honest, sincere communication and profound trust" (p.24). Communicating also involves respect, without which it will be pointless. People who are working on being comfortable with sexual relationships need to start with respect and communication. If there is no mutual respect and willingness to communicate they find it difficult to be sexually comfortable. Do survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play use this communication and trust to gain comfort with sexual intimacy? SM play teaches its participants the dynamics of communication, trust, control/power play, and respect. These are important things to learn, especially for those practitioners who are survivors of child sexual abuse. Do they use these dynamics to help them gain comfort with sexual intimacy? Pat Califia, one of the Bay Area’s most outspoken and highly published practitioners of SM play, in A Secret Side of Lesbian Sexuality (1979/1995) describes SM play as "sex that tests physical limits within a context of polarized roles" (1995, p.140). Of sadomasochists she said: "We select the most frightening, disgusting, or unacceptable activities and transmute them into pleasure" (1995, p.140). She points out that the "basic dynamic of S&M is the power dichotomy, not the pain" (1995, p.146). The dominants all strive to be competent, if they are not, then no one will be a submissive for them. The dominants reputation is crucial, if they are incompetent they will not be able to find partners because word of mouth travels fast in a close knit community. Califia discusses a typical SM play encounter and the difficulties of being a lesbian and a sadist. She also discusses the politics of society, men usually being the ones in positions of authority, and how in SM play that is not necessarily the case. She feels that is one of the reasons that many members of society, especially those with authority, dislike SM play. Califia describes SM play as an entirely consensual activity, unlike the popular notion that it is a violent act perpetrated on an unwilling victim. Those in the SM community must act in a respectful and trustworthy manner during all SM play activities or the SM community will reject them. In this way the SM community can keep the criminal sadist (those only wanting to harm others for personal satisfaction, not for the pleasure of the other) out of the SM community. This suggests that the SM community could be a safe place for a survivor of child sexual abuse to start to become comfortable with sexual intimacy.
Healing Sexual Problems of Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
This section includes information from two important authors in the area of healing for survivors of child sexual abuse. It discusses techniques for survivors to become comfortable with sexual intimacy. Parallels with SM play will be drawn. Wendy Maltz (The Sexual Healing Journey: A guide for survivors of sexual abuse, 1991), a psychotherapist who specializes in sexual healing, discusses the sexual symptoms associated with sexual abuse. One being difficulty in establishing or maintaining intimate relationships. According to Maltz, research estimates indicate that one in three women and one in four to seven men were sexually abused as children. She defines child sexual abuse as:
She goes on to define subcategories of child sexual abuse as: "Incest: the most common form of child sexual abuse. Sexual abuse of children by other family members, including mother or father, step-parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents" and "Molestation: sexual abuse involving sexual stimulation to body and genital areas, including penetration. It can happen at any age, by a perpetrator of any age" (p.32). Maltz points out that some survivors use abusive fantasies to feel in control of sex. Such fantasy serves to give them a way to script and change imagined sexual scenes. This is a way for them to compensate for their lack of control during the abuse. They use their fantasies to regain control in their minds. This parallels what occurs in an SM play scene, an abusive memory may be recreated and the ending rescripted in a safe environment where the person is in control. Do survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play utilize a scene in this way? If so, is it beneficial for them? Some basic elements of SM play, communication (especially in the negotiation of the scene), trust and respect, could fit Maltz’ description of a technique for changing unhealthy sexual behavior to: "Establish healthy ground rules for sexual encounters to improve self-caring and intimacy in sex" (p.185). Do survivors of child sexual abuse, who practice SM play, use these elements for this outcome? According to Maltz, it is important to evaluate what sexual behavior(s) the survivor wants to change and why. To change these behaviors the survivor must relearn and redefine habits and attitudes. She describes how to start healing:
This again is very similar to SM play. She goes on to say that it is important to establish new ground rules for sexual encounters. The skills that a survivor learns during healing, according to Maltz are: "empathy, honesty, trust, and communication" (p.211). These skills are the also involved and learned in SM play. Of communication, Maltz states: "Communication is the key to healing together. … Communication neutralizes the effects of sexual abuse. It runs counter to the dynamics that existed in sexual abuse, such as silence, secrecy, shame, and victimization" (p.237). Communication serves to develop trust and understanding. "Survivors can help by telling partners specifically what they do and don’t want them to do’ (p.240). This is similar to the negotiation that takes place before a scene in SM play. Does this negotiation help a survivor who practices SM play communicate with his or her partner? If so, does this communication develop trust and understanding? As a way of developing new sexual attitudes, Maltz suggests: "A couple may want to share materials – poems, stories, or articles – that present a healthy model for sex, in which sex is based on consent, equality, respect, trust, and safety" (p.244). These are also key elements in SM play, which might be used for therapeutic value by survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play. Do these elements of SM play help them to gain comfort with sexual intimacy? If so, do they use them for that purpose? Survivors of child sexual abuse need to relearn the meaning of touch. It has been something that they had no choice about. They need to learn ways to make touch a source of "comfort, caring, and pleasure" (p.250). The process of relearning touch takes several steps and skills such as: "relaxation and rest, active awareness, and creative problem solving" (p.252). It is a gradual process. SM play is also a gradual learning process, involving comfort with certain forms of touch. Does this learning process in SM play help survivors of child sexual abuse to become comfortable with sexual intimacy? One of the exercises Maltz gives for relearning touch involves saying red light or green light. The survivor’s partner starts by touching the survivor’s arm and gradually touches other parts of her body. As the partner touches each new part the survivor says ‘green light’ if they are feeling alright and comfortable or ‘red light’ if the touch is too much for them. This is similar to the safe word in SM play. The safe word is used by the submissive if the scene is too much for them and they want to stop. Another technique similar to the communication that takes place before a scene starts in SM play, involves the partner telling the survivor specific instructions as to how and where they would like to be touched. This is meant to promote communication and have the survivor focus on the sensation of touch without worrying about if their partner is enjoying it, because the partner is telling them what they enjoy. When working on becoming comfortable with sexual intimacy: "Survivors need to modify the techniques [listed in the book] to respect their needs to go slowly, feel in control of what’s happening, handle automatic reactions, and deal with feelings that might surface that are related to the abuse" (p.291). "Practicing new ways of taking care of themselves during sex, such as asserting feelings and needs, setting limits, directing touch, and stopping sexual activity when necessary, can help survivors affirm their sensuality rather than deny it" (p.297). Sex must be an activity that the survivor feels in control during and in charge of. Honest communication, respect, and emotional intimacy are the key elements to becoming comfortable with sexual intimacy. These are also key elements in SM play. Do survivors of child sexual abuse (who practice SM play) use these elements in SM play to gain comfort with sexual intimacy? Christine Courtois, a counseling psychologist, has written several books on therapy for incest survivors. In Healing the Incest Wound: Adult survivors in therapy (1988), she initially discusses the dynamics and characteristics of incest. Children who are victims of incest become hypervigilant. She lists several findings of the research into characteristics of child sexual abuse: as high as 20% of the female population has experienced incest abuse at some time (12% before 14 years of age, 16% before 18), up to 5% of all women were abused by their fathers, boys are also abused within the family but in a smaller percentage compared to women, females make up the majority of victims and males the majority of the perpetrators. Females are more likely to be abused within the family and males outside of the family. Most abuse is perpetrated by a family member or someone the child knows. The pattern of abuse is repetitive and progressive forms of sexual contact; it usually begins when the girl is prepubescent (age 4-12), but can occur at a younger age, it usually lasts on average four years. Outside abuse lasts for a shorter period and doesn’t have the progression or entrapment because the perpetrator has less access to the child. Coercion and misrepresentation of the relationship and activity are used more often than violence. Approximately, forty percent of the victims of child sexual abuse require therapy in adulthood. Most cases of child abuse inside the family are not reported. Intervention is very complicated, especially in incest cases. Although efforts at intervention are improving, they still are not very accessible to children or ineffective and in some cases retraumatize the child. In defining incest, Courtois states:
She also quotes a definition Benward and Densen-Gerber (1975) used in their research:
Incest is commonly perpetrated by more than one relative, either within one generation or across generations, such as a grandfather and a father abusing the same child. It is not uncommon for both parents to also have been abused as children. Because incest occurs over a long period of time and the child has no escape, the child feels powerless and trapped. In adulthood 20% of survivors have a serious psychopathology (Courtois, 1988). "The most common of these include chronic and atypical depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, anxiety, dissociative disorders, somatization disorders, and explosive disorders" (p.90) Some survivors develop personality disorders such as hysteric, borderline, narcissistic, avoidant, or dependent personalities, according to Courtois. All survivors show some sort of impairment when compared to non-victims, according to Courtois. They also suffer more sexual problems as a result of the past abuse. The most common sexual problems are: "(1) desire disorders; (2) arousal disorders; (3) orgasmic disorders; (4) coital pain [possibly caused by injury from the abuse]; (5) frequency and satisfaction difficulties; and (6) qualifying information" (p.109). Some survivors can only achieve orgasm through masturbation because "Masturbation is ‘safe’ because it does not involve trusting another person or relinquishing control" (p.110). Courtois discusses a form of therapy, wilderness therapy that involves being physically challenged, such as Outward Bound.
For those who are attracted to it, SM play could be serving that same purpose. Do survivors use SM play scenes to re-experience emotions stemming from the abuse and master them? Courtois (1988) states that: According to the available research evidence, concerns about sexuality, as well as problems with sexual functioning and developing satisfying sexual relationships, are very likely in a clinical population of incest survivors" (p.315). Because of this, it is important to continue finding ways for survivors of child sexual abuse to work through these issues. Do some of the techniques of SM play supply alternative ways for survivors, who practice SM play, to work through the sexual problems caused by the past sexual abuse? In Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, Courtois (1993), outlines the problems that child victims and adult survivors suffer; two most relevant to this study are: difficulty trusting others and difficulty with intimate relationships (p.9). Adult survivors of child sexual abuse have difficulty trusting others and a great need to be in control. Trust and control are two essential elements of SM play. Do survivors of child sexual abuse, who participate in SM play, benefit in those two areas? The adult survivor may be sexually abstinent or overly sexually active, they may only experience problems when they are in a committed relationship: "Commitment and attachment may trigger feelings of entrapment and heighten anxiety, which in turn interferes with sexual functioning" (p.76). Feeling helpless, out of control and powerless is common. To the contrary, they may feel powerful in the sense that they feel they had "influence over abusive and/or powerless adults" (p.97). One way to overcome the effects of child sexual abuse, according to Courtois, is to set limits and establish boundaries. In SM play, limits are agreed upon before the scene starts. Learning how to set limits will help in learning how to establishing boundaries. Do survivors of child abuse who engage in sadomasochistic play learn how to set limits in that context? Do such limits reinforce the survivors ability to set limits in other aspects of their lives?
Sexuality educator, Staci Haines (1999), discusses SM play role-playing and fantasy and its possible positive and potential negative aspects for child sexual abuse survivors practicing SM play. She suggests that SM play can be a powerful way for survivors, who practice SM play, to heal by creating a safe environment which promotes self-empowerment, its basic ground rule of consent being something survivors couldn’t utilize as children. SM play helps practitioners explore their limits, which can help create an empowered sex life. Sometimes they use role-play in the form of age-play, which means that the dominant is an adult and the submissive is a child ( i.e., teacher/student). "These roles provide a context to play with the dynamics of nurturing, mentoring, control, and dependence" (p.192). Haines goes on to warn:
Haines points out that SM play can be used negatively to "check out" during sex, but so can "vanilla sex" (the term used for non-SM play sex). "You can try to complete an unfinished trauma by unconsciously replaying it over and over again, in S/M or any other kind of sex" (p.193). "Some survivors may feel that they are ‘acting out’ abuse, and others praise S/M for being an arena in which they can heal their abuse and fully claim their sexuality" (p.194). Haines describes positive aspects of SM play, which could help abuse survivors who practice SM play: "S/M makes these [power] dynamics overt and agreed upon instead of covert and nonconsensual" (p.194). This agreed upon exchange of power does not exist in non-SM play sex, where there is no contract which discusses all of the details before the sexual encounter takes place so the participants know exactly what to expect. It provides safety during a sexual encounter that may not exist for a survivor in other contexts. This ‘safety’ provides a safe place where the survivor, who practices SM play, can reenact the abuse, if they want to, and create new empowered endings. Do they use this ‘safety’ for this purpose? They may, knowing that they can use the safeword at any time to stop all activity, re-experience some of the positions they were abused in. Do they do this? By doing so, do they gain comfort with these positions, or are they re-traumatized by them? SM play isn’t for all survivors, but it may provide help for those desiring to use some of its techniques in order to become more comfortable with sexual intimacy. The goal of the present study is to discover how survivors of child sexual abuse, who practice SM play, experience those techniques and the techniques’ affect on gaining comfort with sexual relationships.
CHAPTER III: METHODS AND PROCEDURES
Research Design
The purpose of this research project was to discover what, if any, techniques in SM play are helpful to survivors of child sexual abuse who currently practice sadomasochistic play. Data was collected through semi-structured interviews with practitioners of SM play who are survivors of child sexual abuse. The goal of these interviews was to gain an understanding from the perspective of the participants of what these techniques are, how they are helpful, why they are helpful, and when they are helpful. The interview process was open to information about any negative effect of these techniques. For this purpose a qualitative method was appropriate as it allows the researcher to gain knowledge of an individual’s "feelings, thought processes, and emotions" (Strauss & Corbin, 1998, p.11). This procedure allowed the researcher to gain an understanding of a phenomenon that has not yet been greatly studied. The Grounded Theory method (Strauss & Corbin, 1967/1998) was used for data collection and analysis. This approach involved the "Constant Comparative" method of analysis. During these interviews respondents were asked to share their experiences in a free-narrative format. The qualitative method was selected because it allows each respondent to share his or her own unique experiences. These experiences did vary, but they also had commonalities. These common features as well as variations were the basis for understanding the phenomenon. The model created by this information was grounded in the data.
Participants and Sampling Procedures
The Nature of the Participants
The participants in this case were self-described practitioners of SM play who were also self-described survivors of child sexual abuse. A sample of eight participants led to a saturation of categories (Strauss & Corbin, 1998). Respondents were interviewed until there was redundancy in the patterns which emerged. They were participants of the SM community comprised primarily of those who are members of The Society of Janus, an SM play informational and social organization as well as people who visited various web-site postings which contained the recruitment notice. They were all self-described survivors of child sexual abuse. For the purpose of this study, child sexual abuse was defined as inappropriate sexual touch of a child by an adult or older child. The nature of the research question left the respondent selection open to both men and women, over the age of 18.
Sampling
The sampling method could not be random, an exemplar sample focused on participants who, through their experiences, were the best informants of the phenomenon under study. The findings were not generalized to the general population, as quantitative research aims to do. Rather, they were used to discover the differences and similarities in each unique experience of the phenomenon. The nature of this research and sampling method allowed for information to be gathered from individual cases in order to illuminate the research question. Patterns, or common themes, found among the participants added to our understanding of the phenomenon.
Recruitment of Participants
In deciding how to find willing respondents, the researcher discussed this issue with colleagues, friends, and authorities in the field of study. It was suggested that the researcher contact The Society of Janus, an information and social group for participants in SM play. They were contacted through e-mail by the researcher and they replied that they would be willing to help by advertising in their monthly newsletter, Growing Pains, and on their website. The sample came from across the United States. Most responded and communicated through e-mail because of the distance factor. The advertisement (see Appendix A) contained a brief statement introducing the researcher, information on contacting the researcher, and information about the purpose and nature of the research. This was posted on The Society of Janus’ website and listed in their monthly newsletter. It was also posted on various SM play web-sites, at Good Vibrations, and sent to SM play-friendly therapists in the San Francisco Bay Area. The researcher was contacted through e-mail and by the telephone, during the screen of respondents and while setting up interviews. Respondents were briefed on the purpose of the study and the length of the interview, before the screening process. During the screening process (see Appendix B for sample of screening format), the researcher verified that the respondents meet the criteria of the study; that they are self-described practitioners of SM play and are self-described survivors of child sexual abuse. The criteria for child sexual abuse, was inappropriate sexual touch experienced as a child by an adult or older child. When they did not meet the criteria, they were thanked for their response. Those who meet the criteria were then asked if they would be willing to sign a consent form (see Appendix D), which was be read to them or, e-mailed to them in the case of contact through e-mail. When they agreed, an appointment was set up for an interview or they were told that the researcher will contact them to fit them into the interview schedule.
Data Collection
The data to be collected in this research project came from the unique experiences of those who practice SM play and are survivors of child sexual abuse. It was collected through semi-structured interviews and open-ended questions within those interviews (see Interview Guide, Appendix E). The goal was to gain understanding of the phenomenon by looking at it from the perspective of the respondent. The respondents in a sense taught the researcher. The approach to interviewing followed Mishler (1986) who describes a process in which the interview is a discourse rather than a question and answer set-up. Such a format allowed respondents to describe their unique experiences, which gave the researcher an opportunity to gain in-depth knowledge about their experience of the phenomenon. An interview guide was developed based on the literature and discussions with colleagues as well as SM play practitioners. As the interview process proceeded, the interview guide was adjusted in order to add new probe questions as information was gathered from the respondents (Strauss & Corbin, 1998). This allowed the research to broaden beyond the researcher’s initial ideas. It also permitted the respondents to help to define the key questions about this phenomenon according to their own unique experiences. Mishler (1986) in describing the research interview as discourse states:
Strauss and Corbin (1998) categorize questions into four areas: sensitizing questions "[t]hese tune the researcher into what the data might be indicating" (p.77). Theoretical questions, "[t]hese are questions that help the researcher to see process, variation, and the like and to make connections among concepts" (p.77). Practical and structural questions, "[t]hey are the questions that provide direction for sampling and that help with development of the structure of the evolving theory" (p.77). The last are guiding questions, "[t]hese are the questions that guide the interviews, observations, and analyses of these and other documents. These questions will change over time, are based on the evolving theory, and are specific to the particular research" (p.78). All of these types of questions were used while conducting interviews.
Interview Procedure
The in-person interviews lasted for one to one and one-half hours and were held at the respondents’ residences. The e-mail interviews were conducted through the internet, by sending the questions to the respondents through e-mail. The respondents sent their responses through e-mail as well. Each respondent was interviewed once. The respondents were given a description of the interview process. The researcher then asked the respondent to read and sign the informed consent form. The interview process commenced following this. The interviews began with the following overview of the purpose of the study:
Topics of the Interview Guide
The interview guide provided a framework for the interview process. This allowed for the flexibility to discover the varied aspects of the phenomenon while still having structure. This structure came from questions. The open-ended questions (Appendix E) aided in expanding the information learned from each respondent. The topics of theses questions were drawn from the literature and discussions with therapists working in the field. The interview guide was changed as new information was derived from each interview. This is consistent with the Grounded Theory approach, (Strauss & Corbin, 1998). As a result, one section, the SM section, was expanded upon early in the data collection process. In this section, the following probe questions were added: How have the following aspects/techniques been helpful or not helpful in achieving comfort with sexual intimacy and why: Communication, Trust, Control/Power Play, the scripted Scene (during a play session), Respect, and Limits?, they are in italic in Appendix B.
The Context
Discussing either SM play or experiences of child sexual abuse can be difficult. SM play was the topic that should have brought up the least amount of discomfort, so it was discussed first. This was also used as a vehicle to establish rapport. The questions in this area were general. Asking when they first discovered their interest in SM play helped to take them backward in time. It also helped them to start thinking about SM play in the context of their life experiences. Once this time frame was established, more detail about their experiences with SM play were explored by asking them what drew them to SM play and what their likes and dislikes of SM play were.
Therapy
This established if and when the respondent went to therapy and what affect this therapy had on them. This allowed the respondent to explore what if any affect therapy has had on their comfort with sexual intimacy. This information helped them to start thinking about what had been helpful in gaining comfort with sexual intimacy.
SM Play
These questions helped to establish the details of what, if anything, about SM play was helpful to them in their work to regain comfort with sexual intimacy. It also explored any negative impact that SM play has had on their work with sexual intimacy. After the first interview, certain aspects of SM play were mentioned or eluded to which, based on information from readings (see Chapter II), the researcher felt needed more in-depth discussion. In cases where those aspects were not spontaneously brought up, those questions helped to explore the reasons for this. Those aspects are in italic in Appendix B.
Experience
This established their attitude and feelings about SM play. A person’s perception of a phenomenon could affect the outcome of the phenomenon. If they were ashamed of practicing SM play then it may not be helpful to them in gaining comfort with sexual intimacy.
The Interview/Ending the Process
It is vital to end the interview in a positive manner. Allowing the respondent to share their thoughts and feelings about the interview process and what may have emerged during it was a way to bring closure.
Analysis
The data was analyzed to learn each respondent’s unique perspective, on a common phenomenon. The protocols were compared to find common and variant themes. The data was then be used to illustrate and validate a conceptual model that was derived from the data analysis. The analysis began after the first interview thus enabling new information to further develop the interview guide. Analysis continued after each interview, and comparisons were made with all other interviews. This process allowed the researcher to constantly compare the data for common and unique aspects. Conceptual categories were developed from thematic material. This process followed Strauss and Corbin’s (1998) description of procedures for applying the Grounded Theory approach. During this process, the interviewer goes back and forth between interviewing and analyzing the data.
Strauss and Corbin (1998) go on to say: "Objectivity is necessary to arrive at an impartial and accurate interpretation of events. Sensitivity is required to perceive the subtle nuances and meanings in data and to recognize the connections between concepts" (p.42). Strauss and Corbin (1998, p.128) present a paradigm which is "a perspective taken toward data, another analytic stance that helps to systematically gather and order data in such a way that structure and process are integrated." They discuss why it is important to look at structure and process:
The elements of a paradigm, according to Strauss and Corbin, are: Casual condition(s), phenomenon, contextual condition(s) or context, intervening condition(s), strategic action(s)/interaction(s), and consequence(s). Strauss and Corbin define a phenomenon as:
"Conditions are sets of events or happenings that create the situations, issues, and problems pertaining to a phenomenon and, to a certain extent, explain why and how persons or groups respond in certain ways (p.130)." Strauss and Corbin go on to define each type of condition: "Causal conditions usually represent sets of events or happenings that influence phenomena…Intervening conditions are those that mitigate or otherwise alter the impact of causal conditions on phenomena (p.131)."
"Strategic actions/interactions are purposeful or deliberate acts that are taken to resolve a problem and in so doing shape the phenomenon in some way (p.133)." Strauss and Corbin define consequences:
Procedure for Data Analysis
The researcher used the initial interview guide (Appendix E) to begin collecting and analyzing the data. Each in-person interview was recorded and following the interview the recording was transcribed. Emerging concepts and categories were looked for in this data. The interview guide was updated as needed throughout the process. The coding process followed the Strauss and Corbin (1998) method. This coding process included open coding, axial coding, and selective coding. Open coding is: "The analytic process through which concepts are identified and their properties and dimensions are discovered in data" (p.101). Axial coding is: "The process of relating categories to their subcategories, termed ‘axial’ because coding occurs around the axis of a category, linking categories at the level of properties and dimensions" (p.123). Selective coding is: "The process of integrating and refining the theory" (p.143). During data collection, the concept of ‘range of variability’ was used. This means: "The degree to which a concept varies dimensionally along its properties, with variation being built into the theory by sampling for diversity and ranges of properties" (p.143). The data collection process (interviews) was conducted until theoretical saturation was reached. "Theoretical saturation is the point in category development at which no new properties, dimensions, or relationships emerge during analysis" (p.143).
Validity and Reliability
In discussing validity in qualitative research, Strauss and Corbin (1998) state:
Strauss and Corbin argue that the data is self-validating, the comparisons are the means of validation. They also state:
Mishler (1986) states: "the basic requirement for reliable and valid analysis and interpretation, depends on tape recordings and careful transcription of interviews" (p.138). This study focused on unique experiences, as told through taped or e-mail interviews. When the respondents were fully briefed about the purpose of the research and the strict confidentiality, they spontaneously told their stories and openly answered questions. This then made them reliable sources of information about this phenomenon.
The focus of this study was only on survivors of child sexual abuse who practice SM play. Its findings cannot be generalized to all survivors of child sexual abuse. Only those survivors of child sexual abuse who are interested in SM play were interviewed. One of the goals of SM play is to intensify pleasure through pain. It would seem to some observers that the careful control and arrangements of power are used to aid in achieving this goal without real harm. Whereas, a survivor of child sexual abuse could possibly be helped by the controlled scenes aspect of this play; the notion of the association of pain with pleasure may neither appeal to nor be of comfort to a survivor of child sexual abuse who does not practice SM play. A qualitative approach, using in depth interviews, utilizes a limited number of respondents, thus generalizing the findings to a larger population is inherently limited.
This study looks at aspects and techniques of SM play that may be helpful in gaining comfort with sexually intimate relations for survivors of child sexual abuse who currently practice SM play. The qualitative nature of this research project allowed the respondents to openly share their stories. The research question, although somewhat focused, was general enough to allow for exp |
